How can be a mother such like her?!

I will never understand it! She doesn't know me now... well, she did't know me before that times so nevermind. I feel a little bit lonely despite of that my granny and dad are always by my side. I know very well that they love me two times better than she but... I have to cry. I have to cry because I can't understand that how can be a MOTHER such like her?!
I will be better. I swear I will be better mother of my children and I will never gonna do things like that! Sometimes (like right now) I feel strong sadness and that she doesn't love me. I don't want to be her daughter and I want her to get out from my life! Yes, it will be right but for the time being it's just a thought.